One Regret
by OoglieBooglie
Summary: I guess you could call it a poem, a drabble if you will. Tragedy. Character death.


_A/N: Let's call it a poem. A drabble if you will. This wasn't going to see the light of day. However, this person that I share a crazy muse with, convinced me to post it. So, here we are. I hope you like it. If not, ...well, that's okay too._

_Sadness alert - character death - fair warning_

* * *

One Regret

* * *

I've heard it said so many times before.

How your life passes you by, in those last moments before you die.

I always thought, that's such a cliche, that it can't possibly be true.

But now, while I am lying here, knowing these are the last few breaths I'll ever take, I found out, it really does happen that way.

The funny thing about it though, is that it's not my own life that's passing me by.

It's the life I could've had with you.

* * *

I never envisioned myself falling in love and getting married. I just never thought it would happen to me.

Then one day, there you were.

And I started imagining what it would be like, to spend my life with you.

To wake up, every morning, in your arms.

To kiss you; make passionate love to you.

To, one day, have kids, with you, and watch them grow up to have happy lives of their own.

And in the end, I imagined myself, growing old with you; us, together, side by side.

Unfortunately we never really got the chance to do any of those things.

But, I'm not bitter.

I would take one day, spent with you, over a thousand, spent alone.

In the end, all we got, was only one kiss.

The beginning of something more.

I guess I should count myself lucky, that I got even that.

I will always consider myself blessed; I got to spent years with you by my side, even if it was only as your friend.

You were my soul mate; my sidekick, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

* * *

My hope for you now, is that you will do, all the things I imagined us, doing together.

I hope that you will look for love again, and find it.

I hope that you will get married.

I hope that you will one day have kids.

And, I hope that you get to grow old with someone that loves you, just as much as I love you.

That is my wish for you.

Even though it hurts to think, that it won't be me, sharing your life, with you.

* * *

**It's hard to breath.**

I know it will be over soon. I can feel it.

I know it's too late for help.

It was already too late, as soon as it happened. I never stood a chance.

Will you forgive me? For leaving you alone?

For breaking my promise, that you would always have me?

* * *

**I have no more strength.**

It's a strange feeling, to still be so conscious, but hovering on the brink of death.

I wonder who's going to be the one to tell you, that I didn't make it back today.

I hope it's going to be Frost, he's always gentle with you, he will know what to do; what to say.

Please don't blame him, it wasn't his fault.

He couldn't have known what would happen when I went in the front, and he went around the back.

He couldn't have known, please tell him that.

Don't let him suffer, he's a good man.

* * *

**It's almost completely dark now, the edges of my vision fading away.**

I really hope you will let people take care of you; let them comfort you.

I know my ma and brothers can be a little much sometimes. But they love you, they are your family too.

They will always be there for you; please be a part of their lives.

I think it will help them.

* * *

**I don't feel any pain.**

I guess that's not exactly a good thing. But I am thankful for it just the same. It probably means it's time.

I did always tell you, I wanted to be the first to go. You said it was selfish, that it was unfair of me to leave you behind.

So we made a pact, knowing it was silly, but we did it anyway.

We were going to die together, when we were old and grey; at death's door. We were going to do a Thelma and Louise, except, less dramatic, maybe.

I'm sorry, babe. That was my plan, it really was.

I don't want to leave you by yourself; I know you count on me, like I do on you.

* * *

**It's getting colder.**

If you were here, you would probably tell me, it was because of the blood loss, my body going into shock.

I would smile at you; reveling in the knowledge you possess.

Thinking about your excitement, for things that would bore most people, makes me happy; even now.

Your smile, brightened up so many of my dark days.

Do you know? How much I truly loved you? Adored you? I really hope you do.

You deserve to know, that there was someone who loved you for all you are. The whole person, nothing excluded.

* * *

**With the last few beats of my heart.**

I can almost hear the sound of your heels on the concrete floor; I imagine it is you, getting closer to me.

But I know it can't be you, I haven't been here long enough for you to get to me. Nobody even knows I'm missing yet.

How I wish it was you though, so I wouldn't have to die alone.

But a bigger part of me, doesn't want you to see this. I don't want you to life with this vision, with this pain.

Maybe the memory of you will be enough to sustain me.

* * *

**While I draw my last breath.**

I will envision your face, framed by honey blonde hair.

Your deep hazel eyes, I think those are my favorite part of you. I'm so thankful thinking about all the times I had the pleasure of looking into them, knowing you saw me too.

If I concentrate really hard, I can almost imagine your sent; something so uniquely you.

I let this memory take me, remembering myself lying next to you on your bed. Drinking wine together, laughing, talking; us just being us.

I recall, two nights ago, when we fell asleep together. You held me in your arms that night, and that's where I felt most secure.

I want that to be my last thought before I go.

And if nothing else, ...my love.

I want you to know, that I regret nothing, …except, …maybe, …that we didn't have more time together.


End file.
